and when no hope was left in sight on that starry, starry night you took your life as lovers often do.
but I could have told you Vincent, this world was never meant for one as beautiful as you.
Can't lie...I've often thought this. Thought like this. I don't think it makes me weak, and I don't think it makes me a threat.
now I think I know, what you tried to say to me and how you suffered for your sanity. And how you tried to set them free.
But I have done this on my own. With the help of others, but definitely on my own. Montreal has become a proverbial cemetery of betrayal: a divisive dichotomy between what I strive for and what I can't escape.
but if all this let down, hurt, pain, confusion, and loneliness has thus far been in vain, it is becoming clear. I wanted the ultimate challenge: I now have.
I, in every sense of the sentiment, watched people drop like flies from me: my support network completely disheveled. I had me at the end of the day. I held my own hand until I fell asleep. I found my own job. I taught myself how to get out of bed, put two feet on the ground, and get a coffee.
Yep. Everyone here left me, in one way or another; what came out of it was something so dear, so clear, so precious, I wouldn't trade it for anything.
self-belief.
self-faith.
a set of people who I truly believe only want what is the absolute best for me: who mean it when they say "anything you need, we're there".
for the last one week I have been muttering a song lyric
"if you live through this with me I swear that I would die for you"
I had no one. Then I had someone.
I had me.
So go on. Doubt, abandon, betray, cheat, lie...I'm fucking unbreakable after this.
