Sorry I've been relatively silent the last little while. I have had a busy time adjusting here in Montreal. Traumatically, I have already run out of money. As part of an exhaustive search into the depths of my capabilities, I opted to sign up for two graduate-level courses through an online program called Human Rights Education Association, along with my University of Winnipeg course. The dilemma?
My student aid cheque went to helping me move (flight, shipping, purchasing new things, rent, groceries etc.), leaving me $2000less.
So now that tuition has reached fruition, I am at a difficult crossroads. Ah well. Such is life I suppose...I'm equal parts thrilled and terrified at the prospect and SEARCHING DESPERATELY FOR A JOB. So if you have connections in Montreal, quickly connect s'il-vous-plaites et merci.
Aside from my financial woes, the weather sucks. I can't stand walking uphill each and every day with my kneecaps clicking and clacking against one another like an Amsterdam staircase with the wind blowing directly and unfairly up my nostrils and penetrating my cranium's nerve endings. gahhh!!!
For those familiar with downtown Montreal, I take the metro from Jarry to Berri UQAM then switch lines up to Guy-Concordia, before tromping up the hill to chemin cote-des-neiges, and onto avenue docteur penfield.
For those unfamiliar with downtown Montreal, voila:
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| PRACTICALLY VERTICAL STREET (tilt your head backward a bit) |
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| My place of unpaid employment (bitter?!) |
I work next to the Swiss Embassy, as trivia.
Anyway, walking this each day is a pain in the ass, legs, hamstrings, head, nostrils, meow meow meow...Sensibly, I haven't been in this much shape since 1993.
I had a meeting with my bossyboss today (not RD) and he challenged me like the one-space he is. Or is it four-space. We're talk enneagrams here people.
Anyway, luckily, I have the wit and composure of Leslie Neilsen playing an orchestral leader (Wrongfully Accused...anyone remember that film?), and I fire-crackered back at him. I can't tell if that makes me ignorant or just wrong, but regardless I need a budget along with a Plan A through ZZ (yes, 2 Zs for extra caution) on Friday. Barring this possibility, I may wear a short summer dress and come in reading Chomsky.
To be honest, I work well under pressure and now have a working-relationship with most concierges in the greater Montreal area, and so I should be able to give him what he's after budget-wise. It ain't gonna be pretty. We are talking some BIG names for the conference in the Fall. What's been interesting for me is being spoken to like I know everything currently and previously political and so my colleagues throw names and scandals around and I nod and giggle where appropriate and roll my eyes every time I hear the name Mulroney. Seriously though, the capacity of these people is incredible to know everything from MPs districts to which paper Samantha Power pumped out back in 1998. BUT I BET NONE OF THEM KNOW HOW TO MAKE PEANUT SOUP. suckers. Anyway, I try my best to write down names as I hear them and then try to do even the briefest of biographical research in hopes of being able to contribute more to the conversation in following days. For example, I finally looked up what was happening in Egypt, instead of grouping it with North African politics and ignoring it to read another article on HIV in sub-saharan Africa. Unsurprisingly there's quite the story there.
Politics aside (and I use the term broadly), I'm finally allowing myself to socialize a bit. I found myself at Faggity Ass Fridays at the bar Playhouse, with a specific theme of Gaywatch (clever?). Not only did I find myself donating money to a cause I'd never heard of or getting packages of condoms thrown my way or have the utmost privilege of watch a man make love to the floor but I ran into Winnipeg's gay community. Luckily, I'm acquainted with these folks and it was nice to run into familiar faces. Par example, I was introduced to my pal Kyle's friends as "This is Katie! We met on the music scene in Winnipeg back when I was straight!" I thought about introducing myself to everyone as Straightie but people rarely understand my puns, especially if they don't know my real name or even moniker.
Last night I went and saw a riveting, politically inherent, capitalist-gone-emptiness induced animated film called The Illusionist on a free ticket that a friend of a friend donated to me. Analysis aside it was about a magician in 1959 in Paris/England/Scotland who accidentally befriends a young girl who has nothing, and brings her to edinburgh where she simply points to sparkly things she wants and the magician makes them appear. She may think they are being placed in her hands by magic but, clearly, the old magician is in fact buying her everything. One day, jobless, penniless and down on his luck, the magician picks some flowers, sets his magic rabbit free (suddenly the frame multiples and there are thousands of rabbits...as if by magic...) and bids adieu to the little girl via a note that simply reads "magicians do not exist."
Well if that doens't get a whole bunch of artsy-saps-in-the-crowd going, nothing does. There was a Q & A session afterwards where one women stated "I loved the audio of the film. It really MADE the film for me. For isntance when a door opened or closed and they accompanied the audio of a 'click' sound...very moving." to which the chair of the event retorted "well you need sound otherwise nothing really makes sense".
...
members of Mulroney's former cabinet perhaps?
*cue eye roll*
I also attended a very intimate show on Sunday night, something unlike anything I'd seen before. I made sure to close my eyes and get lost in the music for a bit. The nice thing about doing that is that you really can transform yourself into any place at any time. I was lying in bed in Uganda, then I was at a concert in Winnipeg, then I was having a bath in London and then I was at a bar in downtown Montreal.
As I continue to go out more, I feel my sense both expanding and at the same time resting. I feel familiar with the area I live in and not one, but two people have stopped me to ask for directions. NAY. Three! I forgot about the third one last evening.
While it may have something to do with my having downloaded google maps on my cellphone, I do feel myself spreading out here. Supposing I stumble across a job, or just luck and find a grab bag full of cash, I feel nearly compelled to socialize at bars. Now there's something different.
If it doesn't work out though, I've downloaded every episode of Dexter and feel confident in my ability to sit like a potato and roost until the end of April.
Despite the melancholic tone, I am doing well and it is only today...this hour in fact where I have doubted moving here, and for purely monetary reasons. I find salvation in the notion that I am removed from all that I know. The only way I can describe it is putting on a snorkelling mask and realizing you can breathe underwater, and never wanting to emerge because it's so peaceful and so different. To feel soothed by difference is something I have craved for some time now. Knowing the difference is actually within me and not just through superficial surroundings is an enriching and wholesome feeling. If life is following your bliss then I have found a tiny garden on its path where I can be me for awhile.
Being Bliss.
How lucky am I?
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