How I learned started to just let go
life throws curveballs. life also provides us with over-used clichés.
I feel like writing, so bear with me here.
This time last year...I truly can't remember where I was. I frequently find myself telling myself to remember where I am and what I am doing so that I can recall it a year later and remember precisely what I was doing.
mental journal I guess.
But this time last year, the end of March 2010, I barely can remember a thing.
I was in a relationship.
I was in school (though the classes I took escape me now)
I lived in Winnipeg.
I worked at Eat!
Does the make up who I was and what I was doing?
In front of me I have several photographs and greeting and post cards, all from the last year.
But they provide me with no context.
& I'm okay with that.
I moved to Montreal with equal amounts push and pull factors - I was leaving as much as I was heading towards. I am feeling myself morph into the semblance of who and what I want to be. Though I doubt I will, on March 28 2012, be able to re-iterate what I was doing one year prior.
For the chapter in my life marked "montreal", I am blessed.
I have rediscovered myself. It's been found in unlikely places:
photographs
emails
post cards
a marketplace
a blog
nail polish
new music
french
walking
...
this list continues
I feel passion. curiosity. capability
for everytime I felt - and said- "I can't", it's because I believed I couldn't.
But being somewhere new, there is no "I can't". I've taken more deep breaths here, metaphorically jumped into more metaphorical abysses here, and forced myself to be comfortable in redistribution, reformation.
My stated goals:
maintain a balanced relationship, with myself and my partner
find a more apt word than partner.
push myself to achieve something
accept that the itchiness to explore photography started when I was on a viarail train, Vancouver-bound, with a McDonald's camera, using it backwards thinking that that was how to zoom in, and finally do something about that itch: learn the camera. learn the art.
be confident in my opinions but open to change
Study for and complete the lsat.
Get charitable status for kwagala (reader, do YOU have that power? www.kwagalafoundation.com)
be honest, always
respond to emails, write more letters
graduate from my undergrad
feel beautiful
make others feel beautiful
be comfortable with the notion that i may never be the best at something, but that shouldn't prevent me from trying.
decorate the space around me in a way that I like, to encourage & inspire
listen to more music.
does anyone else have suggestions?
on a less self-reflecting note, I spent part of the weekend at Nicolas' parents' house for his mother's birthday. Saturday we were treated to some very French culinary delights.
it started with potage du jour (a tomato-based broth, with a simple vegetable concoction)
then the main meal (which here is referred to as the plat principal...principeau?)
i had veal in a porto and pepper sauce, with a too-generous side of salad and thousand island dressing.
dessert was black forest cake (which I recognized from a Safeway bakery)
I must admit, I was a bit let down by the food, but the ambience and company were more than enough.
it also gave me the opportunity to wear (one of) my new floral print dress(es) and my 4-inch heels.
photos by me.
 |
| adorable kettle that always begins to boil when the fire goes on |
 |
| front yard - screened in |
 |
| swing-set-for-two |
 |
| I never noticed all the old farm equipment around their place - this is their neighbour's yard |
 |
| like the farm equipment, i never noticed how many flowers Pierette keeps either! |
 |
| just some wood for the fire. |
 |
| the dog: sherry |
 |
| melted, condensed maple syrup on snow from outside. a home-made treat. |
 |
| soooo sweet. |
 |
| real snow! |
 |
| if we waited too long, the syrup hardened and became nearly impossible to eat. |
I had to shower and brush my teeth twice after eating! it was so sticky! Pierette made it last night as dessert. Too bad the restaurant hasn't gotten around to preparing traditional Quebec desserts!
and that's all for now.
that's it?
that's it!
à bientôt
katie.
xo!
ReplyDelete